Latest updates: ex-fiance has a new girlfriend and a new mercedes. Honestly, I feel bad that his life is so effed up. He thinks that new shiny things will bring him happiness, but he'll never be happy, not with that effed up little brain in his head. I'll sleep well knowing that he'll stay in Toledo, at his job where he is miserable, and keep trying to find shit to make himself happy. Ain't never gonna happen!
And so, in lieu of my new single-dom, I have decided that I am going to find happiness everyday, with no man. As my mother says "You don't need no man!" I'm doing a pretty good job of it so far, and I'm going to continue to be happy, all on my own :-D
Here is a list of things that make me happy and don't rely on a man:
- Smoking a fine Cuban cigar
- Playing with firearms, and pretending its your face at the end of the shooting range
- Watching baseball, either on TV or attending a game. I can't wait to go to plenty of Indians games this year! Or Tigers games with my family! Hot dogs and beer! I love it!
- Working out so hard that my face is salty from sweat
- Seeing how happy my pets are that I am home
- A delicious latte that I pay too much for at some corporate giant
- A long, warm shower followed by my pajamas
- Any type of jacuzzi/whirlpool
- A good red wine. Or a good white for that matter. Any good wine. And good people to share it with
- Dive bars with cold beer and good bar food; and a bartender who remembers your name
- Exploring the wilderness, hiking, enjoying nature in general. Especially bird watching! I love birds. I can't wait to have a bird feeder.
- Spending hours just walking around IKEA and decorating my imaginary house 10 times over.
- Having house plants. Which I give names to. I name just about everything (including my car, Gracie)
- A delicious cocktail. Like a well made cosmopolitan or lemon drop.
I could think of plenty others, but thats all I have for right now.
My brain is pretty fried at the moment. I'll post more tomorrow.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Friday, April 3, 2009
You've got the gift of one-liners and I've got the curse of curves...
Oh hello. Thanks for stopping by. Welcome to my inaugural blog posting.
I haven't blogged since June 13, 2007, so I'm jumping back in. I used to be over on xanga, but we all know that isn't really where the cool kids hang out anymore.
Side note: The title and web address of this blog should be addressed. The title comes from a song from the band Cute Is What We Aim For. And it's very true, it is a curse. But we'll save that for another blog post. The web address comes from my latest nickname. A super awesome nurse in the ICU at St. V's named Nick gave me the nickname of "Pharmacista". I like it, and think its pretty bad ass. I might even get it stitched into my white coat.
Here's my summary of my life at this moment, and you'll see why I suddenly feel like I have something to blog about:
- I was engaged up until about a week ago. I should have seen it coming, but I didn't. I know its for the best, and its the right thing to do. Still sucks though.
- Since I am no longer engaged, I am obviously no longer living with my (ex) fiance. I have moved back in... with my parents. God love them, but I'm 23 years old. I now suddenly find myself in a situation without any significant furniture or assets. It's nice though, because they are continuously loving and supporting of every decision I make.
- I wanted to get a residency in managed care. I went through the ASHP Match. I didn't match to a residency. During March, I realized that critical care is where it's at, and that a clinical residency would be awesome. I go through "the scramble" (basically a clusterfuck insanity of unmatched programs and unmatched candidates), but I have not yet found a residency. Most residency programs that did not match already had people in mind and interviewed, which shut me out of the process. I am now considering doing a residency "pro bono" at Mercy Health Partners. They said they would pay me part time for staffing, and I would dedicate about 30 hours a week to my residency. So I'd get some money, and I would walk away with an ASHP accredited residency. This would also mean staying in Toledo for another year, living with my parents, and putting a fabulous life on hold. We'll get back to this issue later.
- Since I have no residency lined up at the moment, I should probably try and find a job. Nothing really in the Toledo area available except retail. I am really good at retail. I have the brain for it, the speed, the people skills. But I know that it slowly breaks down your soul. You become an empty shell of a pharmacist that goes home and pours a nice tall glass of scotch to wash away the day. Or, if you're my friend Andy, you drown yourself in a margarita.
So there you have it. Two weeks ago, I had it all. Even if I didn't have a residency or job lined up, I knew that I would get one eventually and things would be alright. It was going to be alright because I had someone next to me, that had said he would share my lifes ups and downs. I now find myself without any direction. No one to focus on, no one to make happy, no one to please. I have nothing, nothing, holding me back from moving far, far away. I would love to just pack up all my things (what I do have), and move to some place that is beautiful. Rent some studio apartment, fill it with IKEA furniture and knick knacks. Decorate it however I like. Get some house plants and a baby kitty.
But then what? I don't know anyone. I know I could get out into the community and meet people, but that can be such a challenge. At this time in my life, when I am at my most vulnerable, I find it very hard to pick up my life and move it away from all my friends and family. Well, mostly family. My friends are scattered, some near, some far. I wouldn't want to just move to somewhere a friend is, and become a burden. I can imagine calling them and being like "You're the only friend I have here! Let's hang out!". Ashley will be going to Kansas City. Lauren is starting her own life in Chicago. Josh is headed to Akron. But Andy is thinking about buying a house here in Toledo this summer. I love my family so much, and I know that I would miss them if I moved. On the other hand, I don't know if I can resign myself to a life here in Toledo... forever! Everyone from here knows that if you don't hit the ground running as soon as you can, you'll never get out. It's a vortex.
Right now, the plan is do this residency at Mercy. It's only a year. It'll go by like that. Before I know it, I'll be able to move anywhere I'd like, because a residency gives me a ton of leverage. Then the opportunites really are endless. And maybe by then, I'll be strong enough to be on my own.
Okay, goals for this blog:
- I would like to review local restaurants and various other Toledo institutions that I think the community should support.
- I would like to force people to listen to my bitching about life. I'll try to keep that to a minimum though.
- I would like to entertain the masses with my anecdotal stories about my mundane life.
- I would like to suggest to people other crap that I like, such as recipes, music, movies, and so on.
This was the intro, and obviously more focusing on a "bitching about life" kinda post. Now that I have set the stage for everyone, I can move on to more important topics.
Stay tuned tomorrow for: The Curse of Curves... is it really so much of a burden?
I haven't blogged since June 13, 2007, so I'm jumping back in. I used to be over on xanga, but we all know that isn't really where the cool kids hang out anymore.
Side note: The title and web address of this blog should be addressed. The title comes from a song from the band Cute Is What We Aim For. And it's very true, it is a curse. But we'll save that for another blog post. The web address comes from my latest nickname. A super awesome nurse in the ICU at St. V's named Nick gave me the nickname of "Pharmacista". I like it, and think its pretty bad ass. I might even get it stitched into my white coat.
Here's my summary of my life at this moment, and you'll see why I suddenly feel like I have something to blog about:
- I was engaged up until about a week ago. I should have seen it coming, but I didn't. I know its for the best, and its the right thing to do. Still sucks though.
- Since I am no longer engaged, I am obviously no longer living with my (ex) fiance. I have moved back in... with my parents. God love them, but I'm 23 years old. I now suddenly find myself in a situation without any significant furniture or assets. It's nice though, because they are continuously loving and supporting of every decision I make.
- I wanted to get a residency in managed care. I went through the ASHP Match. I didn't match to a residency. During March, I realized that critical care is where it's at, and that a clinical residency would be awesome. I go through "the scramble" (basically a clusterfuck insanity of unmatched programs and unmatched candidates), but I have not yet found a residency. Most residency programs that did not match already had people in mind and interviewed, which shut me out of the process. I am now considering doing a residency "pro bono" at Mercy Health Partners. They said they would pay me part time for staffing, and I would dedicate about 30 hours a week to my residency. So I'd get some money, and I would walk away with an ASHP accredited residency. This would also mean staying in Toledo for another year, living with my parents, and putting a fabulous life on hold. We'll get back to this issue later.
- Since I have no residency lined up at the moment, I should probably try and find a job. Nothing really in the Toledo area available except retail. I am really good at retail. I have the brain for it, the speed, the people skills. But I know that it slowly breaks down your soul. You become an empty shell of a pharmacist that goes home and pours a nice tall glass of scotch to wash away the day. Or, if you're my friend Andy, you drown yourself in a margarita.
So there you have it. Two weeks ago, I had it all. Even if I didn't have a residency or job lined up, I knew that I would get one eventually and things would be alright. It was going to be alright because I had someone next to me, that had said he would share my lifes ups and downs. I now find myself without any direction. No one to focus on, no one to make happy, no one to please. I have nothing, nothing, holding me back from moving far, far away. I would love to just pack up all my things (what I do have), and move to some place that is beautiful. Rent some studio apartment, fill it with IKEA furniture and knick knacks. Decorate it however I like. Get some house plants and a baby kitty.
But then what? I don't know anyone. I know I could get out into the community and meet people, but that can be such a challenge. At this time in my life, when I am at my most vulnerable, I find it very hard to pick up my life and move it away from all my friends and family. Well, mostly family. My friends are scattered, some near, some far. I wouldn't want to just move to somewhere a friend is, and become a burden. I can imagine calling them and being like "You're the only friend I have here! Let's hang out!". Ashley will be going to Kansas City. Lauren is starting her own life in Chicago. Josh is headed to Akron. But Andy is thinking about buying a house here in Toledo this summer. I love my family so much, and I know that I would miss them if I moved. On the other hand, I don't know if I can resign myself to a life here in Toledo... forever! Everyone from here knows that if you don't hit the ground running as soon as you can, you'll never get out. It's a vortex.
Right now, the plan is do this residency at Mercy. It's only a year. It'll go by like that. Before I know it, I'll be able to move anywhere I'd like, because a residency gives me a ton of leverage. Then the opportunites really are endless. And maybe by then, I'll be strong enough to be on my own.
Okay, goals for this blog:
- I would like to review local restaurants and various other Toledo institutions that I think the community should support.
- I would like to force people to listen to my bitching about life. I'll try to keep that to a minimum though.
- I would like to entertain the masses with my anecdotal stories about my mundane life.
- I would like to suggest to people other crap that I like, such as recipes, music, movies, and so on.
This was the intro, and obviously more focusing on a "bitching about life" kinda post. Now that I have set the stage for everyone, I can move on to more important topics.
Stay tuned tomorrow for: The Curse of Curves... is it really so much of a burden?
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